Dealing with loss

June 4, 2021 – 100 days to offload countdown #94

It’s one year this day that my father died. I miss him. There were a couple of deaths the last couple of years – friends from way back, older family members more distant to me. They all hurt, but this time was different. I didn’t expect to be that affected. It was not completly out of the blue. But I had to function and I did. Part time work, household chores, caring for kids and animals. Mourning manifested itself mainly on the fringes of my life: I stopped writing daily notes in my five-year mini diary, I stopped exercising for a couple of months, stopped caring about a this and that – I just couldn’t be bothered. It is now that I slowly get back to doing more than the absolute minimal – focusing on getting my body back into (a) shape, taking on this writing challenge, activly reading prose, poetry as well as manuals and articles about technical developments. There will be a constand stream of deaths for the rest of my life. I wonder if dealing with the loss will be getting harder, or if maturing includes increased capacity to accept the unvoidable – or if this is even mutual exclusive.